Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

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Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby borgcrazy » Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:11 am

Yea, resistance truly was futile.
Anyway...

G.I. Joe
Great flick! I never got into the old cartoon, but the movie is simply amazing. It's one of the few movies I actually waited till the end to go to the restroom. I don't even do that for a Trek flick! I highly recommend it, if only to hear Dennis Quaid say "Knowing is half the battle." Yes, they said it in dialogue. And "All American Hero", but that wasn't a Quaid line...

G-Force
And then there are some real stinkers... G-Force is everything G.I. Joe is not, and not in a good way. To say G-Force is a kiddy, fuzzy version of Joe is like saying a Dollar Store plastic watch is a kiddy version of a Rolex. G-Force was nothing but cheap prat-falls, contrived plotholes and horrid pacing. It's the kind of tripe that gave Disney a bad name - and viewers a bad taste in their mouths - so many years ago. Despite the similarity of the subject material (top-secret, military black-ops units that save the world from a hidden international conspiracy), and both starting with G, these movies couldn't be any more different. The only thing that Force has over Joe is Force is very (read: sickeningly) kid-friendly while Joe most certainly is not.
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby Mad Lensman » Tue Aug 11, 2009 1:57 pm

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

I was expecting to see my old life as a security guard parodied in every single way imagineable. And boy was I disappointed.
Still, I didn't leave the sofa thinking, "Man I want those minutes of my life back" so it wasn't that bad, and there were some good gags thrown in here and there. The Segway should leave though, it's waaaayyy too much "White & Nerdy" for this movie, and quite honestly, does anybody actually RIDE those things? All in all, not a bad attempt at a politically correct Police Academy.... just tries too hard to take itself seriously occasionally!!!
Dr. Allison Reed: It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please.
Dr. Allison Reed: Okay, what flavor?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby borgcrazy » Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:39 pm

The only non-fictional person I've ever seen to ride a Segway for more than a publicity stunt is Adam Savage from Mythbusters, and he's pretty much the definition of "white and nerdy".
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby b-guy » Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:09 pm

RE: GI Joe

I actually wasn't impressed with this movie. I never saw the cartoons and such as a kid, so I guess I don't have the attachment other people might have. But, and forgive me, this movie was just WAYYY too heavily Americanized.

The technology was out of control...it didn't even remotely feel like something that would happen in the next 25 years. Accelerator suits? Underwater cities below the ice-pack? A giant sub with dozens of little ones that split off? OK, more plausible than deflector shields and warp drive, but the idea that an international military group could ever get the funding for even a fraction of that stuff is insane. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the fancy underground hanger and base...if countries don't build places that fancy for their own militaries, why would a super top-secret organization be able to scrape up the funding? Never mind the collateral damage, and I'm not talking about the Eiffel Tower. The Joes caused more damage during the chase scene then the bad guys did...and they're supposed to be the good guys? As for the nano-bots/nanites...what the hell kind of politician would approve production of something like that?

I also had issue with the fact that it was an 'internation organization' with '25+ member countries', but of course everybody wore American uniforms, the leaders were American, the rest of the world needed protection and couldn't handle things on their own...and so on.

Sorry guys, I don't mean to be offensive to all you folks south of the border.

Oh, and somebody PLEASE explain to me why setting off explosions in ICE would cause the ice to SINK??? ICE FLOATS!!!! The pack ice was floating ON TOP of the water, why the hell would an explosion cause pieces to sink?? AHHHHH!!!!!
Last edited by b-guy on Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby cmdrajd » Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:21 pm

Actually, as I recall there were more than a few complaints in this country when it was revealed that the G.I. Joe team in the movie would be an international force. The toys and cartoon always said "A Real American Hero." From what you said about the movie, they may have been better off leaving it that way. As it stands, the film sounds a lot like a live-action version of "Team America: World Police."
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby b-guy » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:32 pm

But you still haven't explained the sinking ice... ;)
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby cmdrajd » Wed Aug 12, 2009 5:39 pm

Sorry. I haven't even seen the movie yet. It sounds like it will hurt my brain.
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby borgcrazy » Wed Aug 12, 2009 6:30 pm

I'm guessing the network of metal tubes and structures running throughout the ice-pack had something to do with the ice sinking. Or, Cobra thought far enough ahead that they weighted the ice, since that was their last-ditch plan to keep their base from being taken.
And yea, it was way over the top, but so was the cartoon (what little I remember seeing of it), so in that context, it fit the material just fine. If you're going in expecting a world-accurate military movie, you will be disappointed. If you go in expecting a balls-out fantasy action flick aimed mostly at the kids who are playing with their G.I. Joe toys in the park and dress up as Snake Eyes every Halloween, then you'll have a bit more fun. Just disengage your logic centers and go along for the ride.
If you treat it more as a militarized Pixar flick (i.e. don't over-think it... just accept that it makes sense in their world), you'll be fine.
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby cmdrajd » Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:22 pm

Race to Witch Mountain

Before I am accused of bias, I will admit that I grew up watching the 1975 version of "Escape to Witch Mountain." It was one of the first video tapes my family owned. My uncle gave my son the DVD for Christmas two years ago, so I've been able to rewatch it with the eyes of an adult. Despite some dodgy effects at the end, the movie holds up pretty well. But I don't have the kind of attachment to it that would make me immediately scream "Blasphemy!" at the thought of a remake.

I don't think "Race to Witch Mountain" can really be called a remake. And, while I haven't read the original novel that all of this is based on, I seriously doubt that "Race" is even close to the book. The new film is basically a long chase movie filled with action set pieces a bit more violent than you'd expect from your average Disney movie. The climax is filed with flying bullets, explosions, and bodies flying. I'm sure the Disney party line would be that nobody was confirmed dead on screen. Still, this ain't Mary Poppins. I think "The Black Hole" (which I like quite a bit) is the only Disney film I can think of that comes close.

The comment on the violence is basically just a warning for anyone with small children. So...basically...me, but my daughter already watched it. Never mind.

Onward!

The original film told the story of two orphaned children with unusual powers and a large gap in their memory slowing discovering who they really are while on the run from a billionaire who intends to use their gifts for his own ends. The Witch Mountain of the title isn't mentioned until about the last 15 minutes. Witch Mountain isn't mentioned until late in the new film, either, but, instead of being a place of safety, it's now a more-secret-than-Area 51-style military base. And there's no mystery about the kids. They're aliens. They have powers. And when their powers aren't in use, they have The Rock with them to beat up many many people. Instead of a billionaire in pursuit, they have the US Government as well as a nearly-indestructable alien assassin (called a Duranian in a nice nod to the original film).

The movie is fast-paced and fairly fun. If you're looking for a light-weight, family-friendly action film, you could do worse. My main complaint about "Race to Witch Mountain" isn't that it's so different than the original. As I've said, I don't really care about that. My problem is that the movie is filled with characters doing exceptionally stupid things or not doing anything at all just to keep the movie going. For example, fairly early in the film, before Dwayne Johnson's knows that he's transporting two aliens in his cab, he ends up a car chase with several black SUVs driven by government operatives. He disables their vehicles then, believing that they work for a mob boss who is after him (don't ask), he storms over to their car with a crowbar. Do any of the 4 or 5 supposedly-highly trained operatives pull a weapon or even their ID? No. They just sit there while he yells at them. Why? Because if they had taken such an action at this point in the movie, it would be over. Johnson's character is an ex-con and wants to stay out of trouble. He has to get to know the kids and the truth about them before he's going to be willing to risk his freedom for them. If one person had shown him a government ID, he probably would have stood aside and let them take the kids. Therefore, for no sensible reason, a whole bunch of government guys with guns and badges just sit there. Of course, considering one of the powers that one of the kids reveals later, the entire car chase didn't need to happen. So why did it? To give us viewers an exciting car chase to watch. It's an action movie, so I know that logic isn't going to be at the top of its to-do list, but come on, guys! At least try!
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Re: Quick Takes 2: The Sequel!

Postby b-guy » Wed Aug 12, 2009 7:58 pm

cmdrajd wrote:Actually, as I recall there were more than a few complaints in this country when it was revealed that the G.I. Joe team in the movie would be an international force. The toys and cartoon always said "A Real American Hero." From what you said about the movie, they may have been better off leaving it that way. As it stands, the film sounds a lot like a live-action version of "Team America: World Police."


That actually would have been a much better idea.
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