United Colours of Cardassia

Star Traks: The Incongruous Voyages
Episode name	United Colours of Cardassia
Season	1
Episode number	3
Writer(s)	Ronan Stafford
Year	2503
Stardate	178154
Chronology
Previous in series	A Botanical Question [IV]
Next in series	The Life of the Replenishment Assistant [IV]
Previous in timeline	Out for a Smoke [IV]
Next in timeline	Just Desserts[BG]

The Hansean arrives at Cardassia Prime on what is at first a normal run. But tensions both on board the ship and down on the planet create a series of volatile situations Captain Reimann needs to solve, or else, well, I imagine bad stuff might happen.

Summary

The Hansean arrives at Cardassia Prime, where it learns that the planet's textiles workforce has gone on strike, angry at treatment by the Ferengi CEOs. Reimann decides to get involved: he meets with the Ferengi CEOs and the Union leaders, while also sending Lucas Rascamontes and Giuseppi Lombardo undercover, where they meet terrorist leader Wek Seleya who is at the same time trying to seduce Reimann's assistant Henry Labrapoulos. Seleya plants a bomb at a summit between the union and industry leaders who are saved thanks to the intervention of Captain Marvin 'the Marvel' Jakes, who then orders the Hansean to leave the system. The ship does so, but Reimann remains behind, kidnapping the terrorist, union and industry leaders in order to negotiate a new agreement, holding off Captain Jakes with the help of hobo lawyer Crazy Bill.

Favorite Quotes

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Location

• S.S. Hansean
• Cardassia Prime

Featuring

• Captain Klaus Reimann
• Leanne Braistway
• Soledad Sanchez Rios
• Henry Labrapoulos
• Nyoko Sulu
• Flash GorDonTer
• Dr. Belle Scorpio
• Lucas Rascamontes
• Giuseppi Lombardo

Also Featuring

• Captain Marvel Jakes
• Commander Banar'techno
• Crazy Bill
• Wek Seleya

Author's Comments

The main aim of this story was really to continue expanding on the crew relationships (read divisions) set-up in the first two-parter, and to get to see a Dillon’s ship in action.

The idea for the story is based on the old “Starship conducts trade talks on alien planet” template, which has been used dozen of times and one which I have to admit I always found strange with Starfleet ships. Granted there are occasions where the government (which is really what Starfleet is in space) is the best option for negotiating trade opportunities, but Starfleet is going to do no more trading than it’s going to order pink tutus part of the standard uniform. The real people doing the trading (and hence more relevant to the trade talks) are going to be private companies like Dillon’s and the Cardassian Textiles.

To respond to some of the individual comments, first off a correction. Alan’s right when he says Waystation’s still there. I believe it’s Mutlek space that dissappeared, but I can’t remember the Boldly story where that’s started. Something about Tovar’s parents and Bain being his camp counselor. Anyway, that’s been fixed.

I was wondering if anyone was going to find the Mary Poppins gag. If you’re still unaware of this, it’s when Reimann is talking to the board of Ferengi business owners. Starting with “A Ferengi business is run with precision. A Ferengi's workforce requires nothing less!” is a copy of the conversation between Mary Poppins (Reimann) and the Father (Ferengi) when Poppins eventually gets the Father to take the kids on a day-trip to the bank. I pointed out some influences for the previous episodes, Mary Poppins can now be added to the list of Arthur C. Clark and David Gerrold. Wonder who’ll pop up in the next story?

Captain Jakes is another element to throw into the chaos, though I tried to make him seem neither a goodie or a villain. He’s simply a military officer stuck in the middle of a global crisis and responds accordingly. Reimann sees the problem as an economic one, Jakes as social unrest and both act as they see best to solve the problem. In reality it’s a bit of both, but Reimann’s business solution is better than Jakes’ actions, which in all likelihood could lead to a civil war. Is it a small rant about the effectiveness of business to provide solutions vs government? Maybe, depends how much you want to read into it. Like Alan’s latest Waystation story I didn’t think of it when writing, but now that I do there’s a message to be found if you want to listen. As for Bain creaming Jakes, easily. But name a Starfleet Captain (or any Captain for that matter) which Bain wouldn’t cream? We’ll be seeing a bit more of Jakes in the fifth episode (Bable Talk) coming soon, and then a lot more of him and Crazy Bill (the hobo lawyer) in what’s currently planned as the second story of Season Two.

Links

United Colours of Cardassia (text)

The Incongruous Voyages comment thread (Star Traks Forums)

Star Traks: The Incongruous Voyages
Stories	Season One
Senior Crew	Klaus Reimann - Leanne Braistway - Soledad Sanchez Rios - Henry Labrapoulos - Nyoko Sulu - Lucas Rascamontes - GorDonTer - Giuseppi Lombardo - Belle Scorpio
Recurring Crew	Holo-Bradley - Niels - Igor - Joss Thanatos - Franz
Ships	SS Hansean