Christoff Vincantos

No finesse. No style. No charisma.

And no, that's not his last speed dating rating, that's his service record.

Christoff Vincantos, born 2245 on a farm in the middle of rural Cornwall, UK, Earth. The midwife present at the delivery advised his mother not to let any of her younger family members in contact with the baby until they got him covered, for fear of giving them nightmares for years to come. As ugly as the hind end of a Tellerite Walrus, as large as three officers on his own and with body odour that could fell a Klingon warrior at two hundred paces. Starfleet seemed the only refuge for the boy when he signed up, with their tolerance and "every being matters" policy, but even the fleet had limits as he found out. Shunted from post to post, world to world, He eventually found a posting which suited him on an asteroid in the Benecia system, watching over the Klingon neutral zone, with nothing more thrilling to do than watch pornography downloaded from the fledgling FedNet network, during which he discovered his claim to fame. Christoff is a direct descendant of the 20th century pornogrpahy actor Ron Jeremy and bears a striking resemblence to his great-great-great-great-great grandfather, that being unsightly body hair and a dispensation to treat women like sex objects.

He got assigned to the Devonshire when he was discovered to have been monitoring the exploits of a high ranking Admiral, intending to blackmail the officer into giving him his own ship. Sadly when she discovered his hidden sensor camera, she used it to trace the signal back to his office and had him thrown in the brig, and given the choice of serving aboard the Devonshire, or spending his life mining borite with the inmates of Tantalus. He's beginning to see the value of borite after a year aboard. Wound up Angela Atherton by pinching her backside in their first ever encounter and got to spend several hours first as a plug to keep the environmental systems working (his ass got stuck in an airlock) and then got to spend an hour under the expert needle of Doctor Amelia Chen, an expert body piercer on Jupiter Station. Needless to say, there are no holes in this man where no hole has ever been before.

Rubs Commander Coombes up totally the wrong way everytime the pair are together. Not a healthy past-time