Yes, We Do Indeed Have Something To Declare!
| Star Traks: Boldly Gone | |
| Episode name | Yes, We Do Indeed Have Something To Declare! |
|---|---|
| Season | 2 |
| Episode number | 1 |
| Writer(s) | Alan Decker, Anthony Butler |
| Year | 2500 |
| Stardate | 175209 |
| Chronology | |
| Previous in series | Do You Have Anything To Declare? [BG] |
| Next in series | Domestic Tranquility [BG] |
| Previous in timeline | Do You Have Anything To Declare? [BG] |
| Next in timeline | Domestic Tranquility [BG] |
So far, the Andromeda Galaxy has been less than hospitable to the crew of the USS Anomaly. But there's nothing like a good old shopping trip to lift their spirits...or make the situation even worse. Time to max out those credit cards in Yes, We Do Indeed Have Something to Declare!
Summary
After the events of the Series One finale, the USS Anomaly is stuck in the Andromeda Galaxy, heavily damaged, and without a working anti-singularity drive, all because Cabral, who had tied himself into most of the ship’s systems, was taken by the Associates. Chief Engineer Lieutenant Shelly Marsden determines that she can get warp drive back online if they can obtain some dilithium crystals. Meanwhile, while fuming over Cabral’s abduction, Dr. Natalia Kasyov meets Helena Troi, who introduces herself as the Anomaly’s cleaning lady.
Captain Reginald Bain decides to use the USS Navigator to tow the Anomaly back to Gyjik's Galaxy Gateway in hopes of finding what they need to make repairs. Bain sends out four teams. Commander Prosak and Lieutenant Marsden are assigned to find dilithium. Lieutenant Commander Tovar and Dr. Kasyov are to see what they can find out about what’s happened to Cabral. Bain and Ensign Hector Arroyo will gather information about the Associates and this region of space. And finally Dr. Fred Nooney and Lieutenant Bre'zan Brazzell will learn cultural information about the species they meet at Gyjik’s.
Cabral finds himself in an empty room. He is joined by two Associates, Chief Associate Enforcer Uuulaadoodee and Ickeeooee, the Vice-Chief Executive Officer in Charge of Acquisitions and Recruitment for EAAIE. They explain to him that he is a valuable resource and they need him for the good of the organization. They ask him a series of questions about himself and are very pleased with his answers. Declaring that Cabral has been hired, the Associates send Cabral to Orientation, where is shown a short film about entering the exciting world of analytic processing.
Bain and Arroyo go into a bar. While drinking the finest water Andromeda has to offer (each drop is filtered over 9000 times), Bain gets to know Arroyo, learning that the ensign is engaged to a woman named Janie. Bain tries to talk to a group of aliens but ends up forced to look at their vacation photos. Arroyo, meanwhile, is approached by an old woman who tells him that if they want information, they need to go get defonilated.
Tovar and Kasyov leave on the raceabout USS Caspian to try to track down Cabral, while the other Anomaly officers spread out through Gyjik’s to complete their assigned tasks. Marden and Prosak find a parts store and try to buy dilithium from the clerk. Unfortunately, he’s never heard of it. He does, however, have anti-matter. Marsden signs up for a Gyjik’s credit card in order to pay for it. Cihn then directs Marsden to another parts bay.
Tovar and Kasyov arrive at the headquarters for Gyjik’s Galaxy Gateways, Inc. and try to get in to see Gyjik, but his secretary, Moklok won’t let them in to see Gyjik, so Kasyov says that Tovar is attracted to the squidoid secretary. Moklok turns her attention to Tovar, wrapping him up in her tentacles, while Kasyov uses her distracted state to slip into Gyjik’s office. She demands that he help retrieve Cabral, but Gyjik says there’s nothing he can do. The Associates run things. He shows her a flowchart of the Network and explains how each species in Andromeda fits in. With no help coming, Kasyov leaves and finds a disheveled Tovar in the outer office.
Due to a translation error, Nooney and Brazzell accidentally rob a glasswares store, but before that, Brazzell asks the clerk where they can find some good clean fun. The clerk directs them to Xanax’s Zany Zap Zorn, where they encounter two women. Brazzell is concerned that they’ve walked into a brothel, but they women assure him this is only about mind-sharing. Nooney and Brazzell agree to participate then black out. They come to and find that the women have swapped bodies with them, much to their horror. This is eventually interrupted by the arrival of a security robot, who says that the Anomaly officers are wanted for theft. The women put their minds back where they belong while Brazzell protests their innocence. They are able to pay off their debt by agreeing to loan their bodies to a couple of vacationers visiting Gyjik’s for the next two days.
Bain and Arroyo find the defonilation suites, which really just involves a platypus-looking alien waving his arms around Bain while shouting “Defonilate.” The alien offers to serve as the Anomaly’s cook and guide through Andromeda. Bain is about to agree when Arroyo arrives having purchased a guide book to Andromeda from the old lady from the bar. Her shop was right across from the defonilation suits. Bain turns down the alien’s offer and leaves with Arroyo.
Marsden and Prosak find the parts bay, which is run by a robot, who demands that they keep their voices down. Marsden finds some parts they need and places an order but also manages to anger the robot into opening fire on them. It hits them both, making so they can no longer speak. They dodge the attacking robot for a bit, escaping deeper into the parts bay, but eventually it corners them and says that they will be executed for not showing respect for the rules of the facility. Prosak shoves Marsden out of the way and goads the robot into pursuing her. Marsden is able to cobble together an electromagnet that disables the robot and then restore their voices. With the robot no longer a threat, Marsden puts in an orders for all of the parts she wants and has it charged to the Anomaly’s account, then they return to the ship.
Bain and Arroyo continue exploring Gyjik’s and encounter a stall proprietor mistreating his employee, a very tiny alien. Bain intercedes, and Arroyo discovers that the store’s backroom has twenty more of the small aliens working there. Bain demands to know how much he is paying these workers that are obviously being mistreated. The proprietor says that he doesn’t pay them at all. They work because they like it. Bain is incensed and says he will fight the proprietor for the aliens. The proprietor agrees and lets Bain punch him, at which point he happily says that Bain won and that the small aliens, identidied now as Lackinis, are now his problem. The Lackinis surround Bain and Arroys chanting “Command us!” After Bain tries unsuccessfully to convince the Lackinis that they are now free, Arroyo finds in the guidebook that the Lackinis exist solely to serve. Bain tells them to go gather their belongings, so they can join Bain, but then, when they leave, Bain tells Arroyo that they are ditching them and then comms the Anomaly for beam out.
Back on the Anomaly, Marsden discovers that the glasswares Nooney got on Gyjik’s are actually made of dilithium, and she confiscates them to use in the engines.
The Orientation film finishes, and Uuulaadoodee tells Cabral that he is being assigned to Department Five. Cabral is then lowered into a chamber of other disembodied brains and connected up with a variety of hoses and cables.
Back in the raceabout Caspian, Kasyov and Tovar are intercepted by an Associates ship, who are interested in them because they are of different species and sexually compatible. They tell Tovar and Kasyov that they will be taken to an experimentation site. The Associates beam Tovar and Kasyov out of the Caspian then destroy it.
Featuring
- Captain Reginald Bain
- Commander Prosak
- Lieutenant Commander Tovar
- Lieutenant Shelly Marsden
- Dr. Natalia Kasyov
- Dr. Fred Nooney
- Ensign Hector Arroyo
- Cabral
Author's Comments
The Kelvans from the Star Trek TOS episode "By Any Other Name" get a cameo here. The Associates have apparently overthrown the Kelvan Empire and put the Kelvans to work managing transportation around the Andromeda Galaxy.